I went to see a doctor again today. The doctor changes every week, and today’s doctor was the worst. He didn’t even read my medical records properly and just wanted to finish the consultation quickly because there were many patients waiting. My sister came with me today. My sister thinks most of what I think…

As the time I take the medicine gets longer, my mood has sunk. As a result, I’m getting irritable again like before. I get angry at my children and yell at them, and then I regret it. It’s the same pattern of depression that I used to repeat a lot. I can’t let my emotions…

The fact that my writing has become sparse is evidence that my mood is sinking. When my mania is severe, the things I want to write about spring to mind. Right now, it’s quiet. I don’t particularly have anything I want to write about. I’m just writing to record my current state. I’m taking the…

I went to the hospital for my scheduled appointment on Monday morning. My sister and brother came again. The doctor had changed, so I had to explain everything again. I thought I had calmed down over the weekend. But my sister said she didn’t see much difference. The doctor increased my medication significantly. The doctor…

I tried to spend the weekend as quietly as possible. I tried to avoid things that might worsen my mania or things I did when I was manic. For example, writing or reading books about spirituality. On Saturday afternoon, I was going to go swimming with my youngest son. We went to the gym, but…

I made up my mind to be hospitalized, so I took a leave of absence from work and left early in the afternoon. I packed a bag with my laptop and books because I would need something to do in the hospital. I met my wife and went to the hospital, but my sister and…

My sister and brother came to visit me again last night. It was because I didn’t keep my promise to take the prescribed amount of medication. I didn’t tell them the exact dosage when we talked last time. I wanted to take less medicine, so I skipped one pill. Reducing my medication is an important…

I started taking my medication again, and I can feel the side effects starting to kick in. This morning, I had some rice cake, and when I tried to pick it up with my hands, they were shaking. It’s so frustrating. I started to feel sleepy again a work, just like before. I was so…

I couldn’t sleep after 3 AM, so I thought I would be really sleepy all day, but it was better than I thought. It’s a symptom of hypomania. I was very tired, but I wasn’t sleepy. I still did a lot of work. I coded for the first time in a while and it was…